Helping Children Learn to Do It Themselves: The Heart of Montessori Education

Student at Treetops Montessori Preschool proud and happy that she did it herself

“Help Me Learn How to Do It Myself”

One of the most well-known and powerful Montessori quotes comes directly from Maria Montessori herself: “Help me to do it myself.”

This simple sentence captures the heart of Montessori education. Children are not empty vessels waiting to be filled with information. They are capable, motivated individuals who want to participate actively in their own learning and daily life.

In Montessori, independence is not rushed or forced. Instead, it is carefully supported, step by step, in an environment designed specifically for children.

Learning Independence in the Montessori Casa Classroom

The Montessori Casa classroom (for children ages 2.5–6) is intentionally designed so children can function independently within clear limits. Everythingfrom furniture to materials is child-sized and accessible.

Children are encouraged to:

• Pour their own water

• Prepare simple food

• Dress themselves

• Clean up spills

• Choose and complete work independently
  

Adults do not step in to “fix” things quickly. Instead, guides demonstrate slowly and clearly, then step back. This allows children to experience the deep satisfaction of real accomplishment.

Montessori and Rewards: How It’s Different from Traditional Preschools

Many traditional preschools rely on external rewards such as:

• Stickers

• Prize boxes

• Candy

• Praise tied to performance (“Good job!” for outcomes)
  

While these systems may encourage short-term compliance, Montessori takes a very different approach.

Montessori Classrooms Do Not Use External Rewards

In a Montessori Casa classroom:

• There are no sticker charts

• No prize systems

• No competition for approval
  

Instead, the work itself is the reward.

Children experience pride by:

• Completing a task independently

• Solving a problem on their own

• Mastering a skill through repetition

This builds confidence that comes from within, not from outside approval.

Extrinsic vs. Intrinsic Motivation

Extrinsic Motivation

Extrinsic motivation comes from external rewards or consequences:

• Stickers

• Praise tied to performance

• Fear of punishment

• Approval from adults
  

Children motivated this way often ask:

• “What do I get if I do this?”

• “Is this good enough?”
  

Over time, this can reduce creativity, risk-taking, and self-confidence.

Intrinsic Motivation (The Montessori Way)

Intrinsic motivation comes from internal satisfaction:

• Curiosity

• Mastery

• Purpose

• Joy in learning
  

Montessori nurtures intrinsic motivation by:

• Allowing choice within limits

• Respecting concentration

• Valuing effort over results

• Letting children repeat work until they feel finished

Children learn because they want to, not because they are rewarded.

How Montessori Motivation Shapes Future Adults

Children who grow up intrinsically motivated tend to become adults who:

• Take initiative

• Solve problems independently

• Persevere through challenges

• Are internally driven rather than approval-seeking

• Find meaning in their work
  

These qualities don’t come from praise or prizes. Instead, they come from years of being trusted to try, fail, and try again.

Famous Montessori Alumni

Many well-known, successful adults credit Montessori education with shaping their independence and creativity, including:

• Jeff Bezos – Founder of Amazon

• Larry Page & Sergey Brin – Co-founders of Google

• Jimmy Wales – Founder of Wikipedia

• Julia Child – Renowned chef and author

• Prince William & Prince Harry – British Royal Family

• Anne Frank – Author of The Diary of a Young Girl
  

While success looks different for every child, these examples highlight how Montessori nurtures confidence, curiosity, and self-direction. These are traits that last a lifetime.

Independence Is the Goal, Not Perfection

In Montessori, spilled water is not a failure. Rather, it’s an opportunity to learn how to clean it up. A button done slowly is still a success. Progress is measured not by speed or comparison, but by growth.

When children are trusted to do things for themselves, they don’t just learn skills, they learn who they are.

Final Thought

Maria Montessori understood that the greatest gift we can give a child is not constant help, but the tools, and time, to help themselves.

By fostering independence and intrinsic motivation in the early years, Montessori education helps shape confident, capable, and motivated adults for the future.